


Words Unspoken

by Townycod13



Series: Nightmares Realized [2]
Category: South Park
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2019-03-09 04:38:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13473849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Townycod13/pseuds/Townycod13
Summary: Healing: The process of making or becoming sound or healthy again.





	Words Unspoken

 

**Words Unspoken**

_Healing: The process of making or becoming sound or healthy again._

-1. Notes

How many words can be used to mean ‘I love you’.

There is an infinite amount of words, ever growing and shrinking as societies morph, change, and stay the same. Languages mutate in some cases passed recognition and in other cases simply grow and mature with intrigue.

This can mean that there are a great many widely accepted synonyms for words of high affection in many languages and expressions but even more interestingly than that, there are more microscopic synonyms within the vocabularies of individuals. 

Sometimes when a mother scolds ‘be careful’ the unsaid words cry out the proclamation louder than even the scold.

Even less widely understood and individualized than the notion that most, though tragically not all, mothers have ways of stating their feelings that may stray off the clasp of bluntness there are other words that can make the same statement.

For one small boy, with tears streaming down his face, his indignant cries of ‘I hate you’ meant precisely the stark opposite.

For another old woman her gentle smile and murmur of ‘it’s alright’ meant the same.

One particular middle-aged man would approach his beloved wife of many years with ‘thank you’ and it spoke such volumes, in fact entirely trilogies of wonder, excitement, and appreciation, that it could bring tears to the eye.

How many ways are there to say ‘I love you’?

When the words seem so impossible to grasp and heavy, sometimes the stand-in statements are filled with more meaning and intent than the actual words.

Kenny remembered writing in endlessly stupefying circles to try and address those particular emotions and had found little success in his attempts.

One particularly mortifying letter had the words coded in a seemingly unrelated and terrible poem. The numbers within correlated to references made in episode of Terrence and Philip episodes. Honestly, it should have been impossible for the casual observer to decode.

He’d taken some heart in that, after his anonymity had been stripped away, even if Kyle were to review the poem it would still come up as a nonsensical fart joke.

The last thing he ever wanted said to Kyle, past, present, or future, was those stupid words in that ridiculous sequence. After all, he was a firm believer that love was something to be earned and once lost, should not be returned.

This was precisely why no matter how Kyle asked about his feelings he could only respond with ‘nope’.

Today too, as spring began to melt the iciness that made up the last couple months, Kenny showed no hesitation in responding to Kyle’s hastily written note.

It was a limbo of late, no one could say whether the two of them got along, but there weren’t any large fights and the school had all but forgotten the chaos. Stan hadn’t but he really didn’t want anything to do with what Cartman had explained to him as an elaborate lovers spat.

Neither Kyle nor Kenny could really argue that point, even if technically they weren’t, never were, and if Kenny had his way never would be, anything approximating ‘lovers’.

Kyle sank in his chair when the note bearing the large rejection reached his desk. Kenny could have been satisfied with that, would have been satisfied with that, but instead he found himself uncomfortable with Kyle’s response.

The other boy had sunk into his chair with a smile and gently tucked away the note like something precious had been written.

What the heck.

Kenny sunk down in his own chair and leaned a hand on his cheek, unsurprised and displeased to feel the warmth there.

-2. Pause

“I’m going for some snacks, you guys want anything?”

Stan and Kyle didn’t look up from their death match, virtual characters proxy for the short-lived rivalry that accompanied their occasional game nights.

Stan at least gave a weak, “Uh, nah, I’m good man, thanks.”

Kyle didn’t respond until Kenny was almost out of the room, too absorbed in obliterating Stan’s proxy.

Kenny barely heard the response over the sound of the door closing, “Yeah, I’m good too, just don’t die dude.”

It was so casual a request that Kenny couldn’t help stopping and staring at the newly closed door.

How did you describe this emotion?

He knew he wasn’t angry, or sad, or particularly happy, but he felt somewhat warm.

He knew he’d heard those words from Kyle recently but the boy was still clearly more or less clueless about the semi-immortality of his..

..what the hell was he to Kyle?

They weren’t friends anymore. Kenny very firmly and consistently rejected those overtures. They weren’t enemies; it was just too much effort and energy to keep fighting that uphill battle (how the hell had Cartman managed it in their youth?). They weren’t… in a relationship or at least, that ship should have sailed…

Kenny decided that all of these thoughts were not conducive to proper videogame annihilation, so he raided the Marsh pantry with a vengeance and returned to the basement with plans to utterly destroy the winner of the current death battle.

Challenging the winner had nothing to do with the fact that he’d seen that Stan’s life was lower than Kyle’s earlier.

-3. Words

“Scoot over, you’re making it impossible to read.”

“Nope.”

“Urgh, you’re impossible. Fine, but I’m balancing my book on you.”

“You know what else can balance on me?”

“Oh my god, don’t you dar--”

“Your mom.”

“I’m done with you, we’re over, this—this is over, whatever this is, you’re too much. I give.”

“Say that with a straight face and it’ll sound way more believable.”

“You’re impossible—stop squirming, you keep making me lose my spot!” half a giggle.

“Scoot over, stop squirming, stop screwing my mom—I swear to god you’re the biggest nag I’ve ever met.” There’s no real accusation in the words.

“Why are you here then? You could go over to my moms room if nags really are your type. Here I will dramatically gasp,” gasp “Kenny, could it be you have a special soft spot for me?”

“Nope!”

“Then get out of my lap damnit.”

“Nah.”

“Then give me a kiss.”

“Nope.” A popping sound with the ‘p’.

“Then give me back my book.”

“No can do, apparently—“ a pause “Moby Dick? Really? Urgh you’re so boring it physically hurts. No lie.”

“Really? Then read it.”

“Why would I—oh my god, you put a different book on the inside, you clever bastard. I’d almost have respect for you if you’d put in a porno.”

“Are you going to meet even one of my demands?”

“Hmmm…” mocked thought, “Just one.”

“Then don’t die.”

Kenny laughed loudly, “You make it sound like it’s a possibility.”

Kyle brushed away some of the mess blond hair, Kenny pretended he didn't feel soft at the gesture, “Then will you love me instead?”

“Nah,” Kenny closed his eyes with a self-satisfied grin, “I absolutely refuse on the grounds that you suck.”

Kyle adjusted beneath him and for a moment he wondered if he was going to be sent sprawling off the couch. Instead there was a press of something soft on his forehead.

“Okay.”

-4. Unspoken

“Why are you hugging me?”

The muffled voice at his back sounded choked up.

Kenny sighed and looked down at the arms encircling him.

It was warm.

He felt small and big, simultaneously cold and warm and the familiar confusion that consumed him lately around the other boy.

What were they, really?

Finally, some of Kyle’s muffled displeasure met his ears, “You were gone.”

Kenny wanted to squirm out of the grip; there was no answering that in a satisfactory way for either of them. He settled on “Yeah.”

“It was a month.”

“Yeah.”

Questions with no answers died within Kyle, but they both heard the questions and accusations like he’d screamed them to the world.

Finally Kyle’s voice swam its way back from the sea of unspoken thoughts.

“Don't die.”

Kenny hugged the arms closer to him. 

“Nope.”

-5. Letter

Oddly, the moment when Kyle decoded the ridiculous letter didn’t occur at all like Kenny had imagined it.

Somehow he had in his mind the image of a winded boy crashing into his room, yelling and pointing accusingly at the evidence of his feelings, a victorious stance as if he had decoded some great mystery. Use it as solid evidence that Kenny could no longer get away with his refusals and bring to a close the least dramatic game of cat and mouse ever played.

Instead it was in a quiet room while they watched whatever was on TV with snacks and what Kenny had defined as definitely-not-cuddles. Cuddles required positive emotions and he certainly had none for the obnoxious stick-in-the-mud Kyle Broflovski. It was just that neither of them had felt the need for much distance between them as they watched.

It wasn’t cuddles, it was just warmth.

Suddenly, amidst a random re-run of Terrance & Philip, Kyle let out a soft ‘oh’ and then giggled for what felt like quite some time.

Kenny squinted at the episode, it wasn’t a all that funny. It ran a lot though and Kenny had seen it more times than he could count, so maybe he just didn't care for the jokes anymore, “What’s got you so giggly?”

That only caused Kyle to giggle further, “Nothing—just,” giggle, “noticed something I hadn’t before.”

Kenny drew a blank, “In the fart joke?”

Kyle shook his head and Kenny realized that he felt it rather than saw it. Since when did Kyle cuddle up to his shoulder like that?

No, not cuddle, uh, warm up to his shoulder like that?

Kenny gave up.

“Then what’s so funny?”

“You’re a dork, that’s what.”

It dawned on him all at once that this was one of the many episodes he’d used in his ridiculous code. Kyle _can’t_ have just decoded it though.

Could he?

“And what makes you, king of all dorks, deem me worthy of your court?”

His heart raced just a bit and he was grateful in that moment that Kyle had decided on his should instead of chest.

“Kenny…” Kyle’s voice was still so light and jovial.

“Hm?”

“Do you love me?”

“Nope.” The answer was so automatic he didn’t even have time to think about the context.

Kyle giggled some more and Kenny knew with mortified certainty that the code had in fact been broken.

“Thought so.”

The response was so warm. Kenny was entirely lost as to whether Kyle had actually heard him. Was he so confident that he had decoded all of Kenny?

Fine, two could play at that game. He wouldn’t be the only one with a warm face and an uncomfortable feeling of uncertainty. 

“Kyle, do you love me?”

The giggling stopped and Kenny knew he had the advantage of surprise and all he had to do was turn whatever the response was into a bad innuendo and he would be victorious.

“Hmm… just don’t die, dude.”

And suddenly Kenny decoded what Kyle had apparently noticed sometime ago.

The emotion in his own voice, in Kyle’s, the meanings to words that were spoken when normalized declarations of affections failed…

Kenny swallowed a lump in his throat and ignored the stinging in his eyes and responded the only way he knew how, with every emotion lacing the single syllable.

“Nope.”

**Author's Note:**

> sooooooo wrote this on my break at work, its not as long as wg but idk, i kinda wanna write a little bit of closure for these two? I dont know if i'll write more in this set (I kinda wanna tho) but i just really like the idea of people saying 'i love you' with different words.  
> i just kinda wrote this in a jiffy and i havent really checked it, so apologies for my likely typos.  
> Im a bit torn as to whether or not I would call this a direct sequel because i wrote wg so long ago and with such a different state of mind. I guess you could call this a 'best case scenario' sequel lol
> 
> I always wanted the two of them to make up, even in the original, but the way i view it has changed. i think im hesitant because i wonder if i'll look at this a few years later and change my opinion yet again lol.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading this, I'm sorry its so much shorter and less epic. Thank you for reading<3


End file.
